Time to get on with it

 I work for a hospital that is affiliated with a university. They are offering to pay for 18 hours a year to finish my RN. I think I have finally reached that point where I'd like to do more with nursing. It's not that I'm bored. In psych nursing, there is no such thing as being bored...everyday is a new adventure. It's just that  I had always planned on bridging over. Truth be told, I was pretty burned out on school. The idea of doing it again kind of nauseated me.

So, I'm taking medical microbiology this fall. If one of the community colleges accept me, that's the only prerequisite I will need. If I go to the state university (I'm applying to both) then I will need chemistry. Have they met me? I'm not much of scienc-y kind of girl. But, if I have to, I have to. Also, the community college requires the NLN, which I have taken before and gotten a composite score of 115. I have to get a verbal Score in the 65 percentile. Comprehensive Score has to be 111. If I go to the university, since I have been out of school longer than three years, I must take the Nursing Acceleration Challenge Exam (ACE) I and receive Decision Score of 70 or better. Nothing but hoops to jump through....
I have begun the tedious process of getting all my transcripts together. A college I attended in the 80's is closing their doors, so I had to hustle to get my transcripts before they merged with another college.
That's probably more than you wanted to know, but I'm trying to keep it all straight in my head. If I don't get in either place, it'll be okay. I'm happy to be an LPN. And they can't take that away from me

Dealing with Burn Out

I have been the nurse in this cartoon. So tired, I didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, or do anything. The unit I was on was very....incohesive. I was there to work and definitely learn. But apparently, I was an anomaly. I didn't know about cliques, or drama.
Passing meds, taking off orders, clarifying orders with pharmacy, patient care, getting the med room ready for next shift, serving meals, changing patients....gee, what was I thinking? I made work about work, and only had a few people that knew about my life outside of work. I still do that. I feel like I can do my life after work. But I've made the observation that many nurses make work their whole life. One could easily see how that can happen. You spend 36 to 60 hours a week with a group of people, you can make them your family. But, to quote Damon Wayans in the movie, "Major Payne", " I didn't say families don't break up, ". Professional distance isn't a bad thing. And making friends at work isn't a bad thing, either. Just don't make your whole life about work. Have friends that don't help you find a vein on a patient, but just play cards or go to the movies with you. Part of burn out is the hopelessness a nurse feels when she sees no end in sight. That nothing is ever going to let up, or things will always be this way. You have to make yourself engage at home. Small steps at first......(maybe go for a cup of coffee, head for the library, find a crossword puzzle to do, wash dishes by hand) and then bigger ones, (like take a fun class, go on vacation, an exercise program) will help with the burn out.
Changing units isn't a bad thought, either. Sometimes people don't gel. They are thrown together to do a job and varying philosophies on work ethics can make for bad feelings. For me, changing units was a great thing. I got a chance to "visit" when I had to float to other units on overflow days. See if that's an option. Sometimes just doing the same kind of nursing for years can burn someone out. Maybe if you can change floors, ( or even jobs) you can restore your faith in the career that you've spent so much time, energy, and money getting excellent in.

The best laid plans of mice and men

Well, I am at a fork in the road about pursuing my RN while working. I had planned on doing an online program with a local college to bridge to RN. The school decided to not accept anymore students and is doing away with the program entirely. Sigh.....
I don't want to stop working and give up our family's insurance to go back to school full time. Maybe there is something wrong with me, but at 51, I know my longevity in this field is going to be approximately 15 years, if that long.
I don't have that, "I'm a failure because I don't have an RN beside my name." syndrome. But I do, at times, get that, "I'm an RN, you're an LPN" differential attitude. Sounds crazy, but I really don't mind the taking orders aspect of the job. Let it be somebody else's call, and therefore, their own responsibility. I have had plenty of being in charge of everything in my life and I'm here to set the record straight: It's completely overrated.
My youngest turns 11 next month; my middle son just turned 19, and my oldest is 29: if the two younger ones want to go to college, then I can afford to send them and pay off my student loans. I know, it sounds so practical, but essentially that's my job....a practical nurse.

8's VS 12's

It really annoys me.... I've been at this job 1 year, and I haven't figured out what to do with myself on my days off. Yeah, there's always cleaning, laundry, dishes, dusting, grocery shopping...etc. But, what's the fun in that? ;)

Up until 3 weeks ago, I was "working 8's" which is almost unheard of in the nursing world anymore. The only time I had two days off in a row was when it was my off weekend from work. That really reeked, by the way. So, I had the opportunity to change floors and change hours and absolutely took it! I work more with Geriatrics, which I have had my training in, and now work 12 hour shifts. The pro's definitely outweigh the con's but I'll give you the short list:

Pro's

1.     You get three days off a week. Sometimes even a 3 day weekend.
2.     Therefore, you can plan to travel more because you'll actually not have to take time off to do it.
3.     You don't get asked to stay over.
4.     To me, it's easier to go through a 12 hour shift with a patient to see how they progress.

Con's

1.     Physically, it can be exhausting when your body is used to getting a break after 8 hours and now must carry on an additional 4 more.
2.     It's been hard to figure out when to take a lunch break. Used to be at 11:00 am, but now it's closer to 1:30-2:00 pm. I'm actually having to eat breakfast now to make it until then.
3.     While you work only 3 days a week, every other week, those 12's are 3 in a row.
4.     You lose 4 hours a week because it's technically only 36 hours. You can pick up on your off days, but right now, I'm thinking....uh, no.

My first couple of weeks I spent getting used to the physical change of 12's. This past week, it's my family who has had to manage without Mom being around. Hunnybunny does a great job of being the cook and chief bottle washer while I'm gone. Now that I'm getting  more used to it, I'd like to get back to quilting on  a regular basis. I have so much fabric, patterns, and just can't get organized.

Oh, and by the way, I'm signed up for medical microbiology which is the last prerequisite for nursing school. Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment. Getting the RN will open a whole world of opportunity for me. This class is online, which blows me away. I have to get a microscope for the lab part. One of my nursing pals did A & P this way and totally endorses it. We will see.

Stay tuned.

An Adar/Dickies nurse's scrub review

Way back in June, I received a nurse scrub top from  spring/summer collection to review and tell you all what I think of the product. Unfortunately, life got in the way. I had started a new job and moved on top of everything else. They mailed me this style top:

You have to picture it light blue or they call it "island blue" . Of the choices I was given, that was as close as I can get it to my royal blue (University of KY blue) uniform.
I found the top very, very soft. It washes up well. I wish I could wear it to work, but unfortunately, it is the color of our nursing aide staff's uniform.
I would recommend this line to anyone looking for soft comfort and easy wear. Dickies scrub tops can be found by clicking on the highlighted link or by clicking on their social media links:
Pintrest
their blog
like them on facebook
follow them on Twitter: @UniformedScrubs

They allowed me to keep the shirt in exchange for the review.

The best motivation to help you study for NCLEX

 is to set the date. How true it is! Nothing puts the fear of GOD into you like knowing you could possibly waste $200 if you are not prepared enough.

Our school required we buy this online tutoring program. It is supposed to run you through the 7 areas: fundamentals, pharmacology, pediatrics, mental health, medical-surgical, maternity, and nursing management. This company places you with a tutor, and you do an initial assessment. You go through the books and after each one, you take a test. If you don't score 60% or better, you must do homework to help you improve your score. Then you take it again. It gives you a read out of areas you missed and what you need to work on. I got through fundamentals just fine but pharmacology....I fell short. Again and again, so close but not 60%. The tutor wouldn't let me advance. Really? I paid you $400 to teach me, but you can't advance me until I reach the exact benchmark? I just gave up trying to use them. Besides the aforementioned scenario, their questions were not formatted to helping me with NCLEX. When I started nursing school in the fall of '11, we were required to buy Saunders Comprehensive Review for NCLEX-PN. I had listened to my dean at my school when she said, "if you really want to pass NCLEX-PN, then after lecture every day, use the Saunders book and reinforce it." So, I went through the entire book, and accompanying disc with chapter questions on it. However, I still did not feel adequately prepared. I began to search online for alternatives. Kaplan was good, I had heard, but very expensive. I had less than 4 weeks before I tested and their program was more involved than I had time or money for. NCSBN.org  is the organization which I took my jurisprudence test for state licensure and I was told they were the people who came up with the NCLEX questions. So I signed up for the 3 week PN review.
It did the same as the other companies, but was affordable ($50) and I went through the test questions as many times as I needed to, which really helped. I would highly recommend them if you need lots of repetition to grasp a concept.
I planned on taking NCLEX-PN Saturday, March 23, 2013. Every spare minute I had, I was going through questions. I added up over 4,000 questions and rationales that I had done. Finally, the day came. I showed up early and they decided to go ahead and take me early! Holy cow! My nerves took over and I headed for the bathroom!  So, I still started at the time I was supposed to. ;)
There were many checks of identity, and finally I was sitting down. "Don't stress: you studied, God is with you...." I kept saying in my head over and over again. Then came the first question. I looked at the screen and thought, " I am so in trouble! I wonder how long it will take me to save up to take this again?" I literally prayed through each question. When I got to question 84, I got nervous again. You see, you can fabulously fail with 85 questions or spectacularly pass with the same amount of questions. The minimum questions for NCLEX-PN is 85. The computer will keep asking questions until you get at least 50% correct. 15 of the questions are "experimental" and if you miss those, it's no big deal. But you don't get credit if they are right, either. You have up to 205 questions unless the computer deems that you are not going to pass based on the amount of high level questions you got right.
After question 85, the screen went blue."Oh, no..." My breathing went shallow. I raised my hand and the attendant escorted me to the office. I called Hunnybunny who was very surprised to hear from me. "It's over?" Yes, it's over, I told him. I felt the way I was supposed to after NCLEX: exactly like I failed. No tears or boo-hooing for me, though. It was what it was. I had spent over 300 hours studying. If I wasn't ready by then, I didn't think anything would help.
I had heard about the Pearson Vue trick a year or so ago. After the results are transmitted, you can try to register again for the exam. If it takes your credit card, it means you failed. If you get this pop-up, ( see below) it means you have passed.
            

  

That is exactly what happened to me! I found out that I passed NCLEX-PN by using this PVT (Pearson Vue trick). On Monday, March 25, it posted to my Board of Nursing website, with my name plus LPN! Thank you, God!

On to the NCLEX

So, it's down to this. This one little test. Well, not really "little". It can be as "few" as 85 questions, or as many as 205 on the NCLEX-PN. Am I terrified? Is the pope stepping down? Terrified doesn't quite cover it.
I've been working at a private duty nursing place since May of last year, and now that I'm not in school, I've been working full-time.  When my patient is taking a nap, I catch a few pages.   Also studying at night when I get home. Our school had us purchase a review package from a "nameless" company. It was very expensive, and not very worth it as far as I can tell. I'm getting more out of my Saunders Comprehensive Review for the NCLEX PN Examination-4th-edition, Mosby's NCLEX- RN Review Cards,  and some old ATI books a friend who passed NCLEX gave me. It's weird, now that I'm out of school, I don't feel so stupid when I do these assessments and practice tests.
I've read every "plan" out there, but I'm hoping I picked the right combination of resources. You might be wondering when I'm taking it. Well, keep wondering. That's setting myself up for pressure I don't need. How about I just let you know WHEN I PASS?

In case you wondered......

     I MADE IT! LPN grad November 30, 2012

Lesson in Compassion

I worked this summer with a terminally-ill patient who was deteriorating quickly. It was hard to watch, but that experience taught me a lot. First, you are never going to be able to pick your patients unless you're a psych doctor. Secondly, there's always a reason why you have the patient you have. My lesson was compassion. I know you must think that a nursing student should come into any given program with it, but  it truly doesn't kick in until you see someone faced with death. What in the world could you possibly say to someone with numbered days? Nothing. Just be there. So that's what I did. I was everything and anything the patient needed. And their family, as well.  Really, you don't have one patient, it's usually two- the actual patient, and the one forced to watch helplessly as the end draws near. The members of said family were hurting, internally, and no pill or procedure was going to cure that. You let them talk, show you pictures of their life together. You pick their brains and show interest in that life. You shampoo carpets if they've mentioned how bad it needs done, EVERYDAY,  because nobody in the family will do it. Instead of being fixated on what couldn't be fixed, by jumbo, that carpet could be fixed. So, you do it. It's so gratifying to them that something was accomplished. And somebody heard them.
 I know, doesn't sound like nursing, does it? Well, it was. Maybe the best kind there is. You can fix someone with medical treatment, but  the treatment of the heart is an entirely different prescription.  And I found it's just as important as any intervention you could do as a nurse.
Not long after school started, I asked about the status of this patient only to be told they had died the week before. I couldn't believe that nobody picked up the phone.  To say that I felt horrible doesn't even cover it.

God  has always showed me compassion . This time, he let me experience it. And He expects nothing less from me. This picture sums it up: I hope I can just be a beggar who can show another beggar where to find some bread.....and  always show compassion.                                                

Experience is the best teacher

Or so they say, whomever they is....I took my clinical adviser 's advice and got a job as a CNA this summer. It was probably the best thing I ever did for my education. I keep my assessment skills up, and am able to make a buck or two. Not saying where as I don't wish to get into any trouble, but it's a good fit. I'm working 40 hours a week until school starts back up in 7 weeks. Then, I hope they can still use me part-time.
My instructor mentioned to me that working with patients is probably what I need to build my confidence, and she was correct, (as much as I hate to admit it).  Initially, I started pretty green but have been steadily  gaining confidence by using my assessment skills, and getting a feel for what patients go through to be taken care of by nurses.
I'm also looking at this opportunity to see through the eyes of a CNA . It's been tiring but great. And it keeps the goal in front of me ....that nursing is what I want to do.